Ryland (Boss Lady)
Ryland has a background in emergency and general practice nursing, and a slightly concerning love of ear cleaning. She’s been doing it since 2017 and somehow made earwax removal look stylish while she was at it.
She’s single but about as keen to date you as she is to cut off her own arm with a rusty saw. She thanks you in advance for not asking — and asks that you extend the same courtesy to her other nurses. This is a workplace, and safety, both physical and emotional, comes first.
Known for her dry humour and unfiltered honesty, Ryland tells it like it is, laughs while she’s doing it, and will give your ears the best clean of their life. Beneath the sarcasm is someone who genuinely cares — though she’ll deny it if you say it out loud.
This is Ervin. He joined the Total Ear Hygiene team and immediately started collecting five-star reviews like it was a side hustle.
He’s a triathlon enthusiast with a talent for endurance — which comes in handy when clearing the kind of ears that test everyone’s patience but his.
He’s a committed foodie with a research-based approach to finding good restaurants — the kind that involves scanning reviews for names that match the cuisine. It’s not luck. It’s data.
Calm, efficient, and unflappable, Ervin doesn’t do drama — just spotless ear canals.
Cass brings the kind of energy that makes a blocked ear feel like an event. She’s bright, bubbly, and powered almost entirely by enthusiasm — obviously with nursing qualifications and skills to back that up.
She left hospital nursing to find work that actually feels good — and hasn’t looked back. Between perfecting her microsuction technique and collecting compliments from patients, she’s also learning the subtle art of being a little bit sassy.
Under Ryland’s influence, the transformation is well underway. Some might call it professional development. Others might call it corruption.